Table of Contents

Happy Newt Year

Happy Newt Year

I’ve been with him for almost ten years now.  Day in, day out, every moment.  Though my place in his life is less necessary now, I’m still with him all the time.  He is my master, and he built me to be his companion.  So, wherever he is, that’s where I’ll be too.  I may not have a heart, but Nick did program me with emotions and my own personality, and I think that I love him, just like any child loves a parent.

It’s sad that there are so few people in this world who truly appreciate the depth and complexity of Nick’s genius.  Nick Massey would have been more at home in the pre-Blast world, when technology reigned supreme.  He wouldn’t have suffered such an oppressive life, dragged down by the ignorant who don’t realize Nick’s gifts for what they really are.  I wish that he’d had an easier time of things.

But, perhaps if he had enjoyed an easier life, he wouldn’t have needed me.  And that really would have been a shame.  Nick and I have had such amazing adventures together.  I’m happy with him.  For most of my life, it’s been me and Nick against everything that the world throws at us.  We were doing just fine on our own.  Then Nick lost his job and we left Nythn Thalor, the dome city that had been our only home.  We came out to the Fringe.  To Firebend.  And Nick met Zander.

Zander.  I don’t hate Zander Pennington, despite what he thinks.  But I don’t like him overmuch either.  He doesn’t understand me at all, and so he treats me the same way that he treats anything with which he’s uncomfortable—with begrudging tolerance and barely-restrained disdain.  I don’t expect him to just blindly accept those things that he’d rather keep at a distance, but he could at least have a modicum of patience and try for understanding.  Nick at least tries to help Zander understand.  He’s more forgiving than I am.

I wish, sometimes, that Nick hadn’t met Zander first.  He should have met Wyvern first.  I like Wyvern.  Wyvern treats me like a being with feelings, like Nick does.  He doesn’t cast me off as a dumb machine.  Nick and Wyvern should be together.  They connect so well, so naturally.  I’m not sure that even Zander realizes how deep Nick and Wyvern’s feelings are for each other.  But I see it between them.  I see everything that Nick tries to hide from others.

Even now, as I sit here, high on a shelf, watching the festivities of the Firebend tavern’s New Year’s Eve celebration, I see the longing and feel the tension.  I know that it sounds ridiculous to say that I feel anything.  I am only a robot, after all.  But I do.  I think that Nick has some sense of my emotional capabilities.  It was his code that gave me the ability to emote and feel.  But I’m fairly certain that he doesn’t know just how radically his adaptable artificial intelligence programming has changed my original settings.  It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t know, though.  If he knew how humanlike my intelligence has become, he’d worry about me incessantly.  I don’t want to give him anything more to worry about.

“Hiya, Newtling.”  Wyvern sighs as he drops heavily to sit on the stair closest to where I’m overlooking the room.

Hi, Wyvern, I want to say in words that he’ll understand.  Why are you sad?  But all that comes out is Peeppeep.  Chee chirrup?

Wyvern’s smart, though.  Like Nick, he’s quite adept at discerning my meaning based on my tone.  Zander doesn’t even try to converse with me most of the time.

With another heavy sigh, Wyvern waves his hand dismissively.  “Oh, I’m fine, cutie.  It’s just hard to be in a festive mood when my feelings are all muddled.  I don’t have anyone to kiss at midnight.  I know who I want to kiss, but...”

Flying up to Wyvern’s shoulder, I nuzzle at his neck, trying to offer some comfort.  Chrrr.  Beepbeepbeep ding.  Please don’t be sad.  I’m here.  Blast!  I really wish I could speak properly!

Wyvern smiles down at me and pets my metal head with a finger.  I make a purring sound to tell him that I like it.  “You’re so sweet,” he says.  “Just like Nick.  Will you keep me company for a bit?”

I give him a gripper-up in confirmation and nuzzle his neck again.  He’s warm and cozy, perfect for cuddling.  He still seems sad, though.  I catch him staring down through the balusters to the main floor below.  I’m not surprised at all to see the subject at the end of Wyvern’s wistful gaze.  It’s Nick.  Nick being happy with Zander and his friends.  No.  No, this won’t do.  Even if I can’t do anything about the Zander situation, Wyvern’s too nice a person to be so depressed on a holiday.  I have to do something.

Floating up from Wyvern’s shoulder, I hover in front of his surprised face and hold up both of my grippers, urging him to stay put.  Beepbeep.  Thrrt ding chee.  I hate it that I sound so silly when I’m trying to be serious.  I just want to say what I really mean—Don’t move.  Please stay here.

“Sorry, Newt,” Wyvern says with guilt in his tone.  “I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang out with me.  I’m not exactly stellar company at the moment.  Go ahead.”  He waves me off.

I make a soft little growling sound in my frustration, hoping that it’s not as noticeable aloud as it is inside my head.  I gesture again for him to stay where he is.  Please understand me.  Then I zip down the stairs to Nick.  I know that I’m being a nuisance when I buzz about his head, but I don’t want to give Wyvern the opportunity to go lock himself in his room.  Peep!  Nick!  Beepbeep ding!  I need you!

Nick tilts his head at me, concern in his brown eyes.  “What’s the matter, bud?”

Dingding chrrr!  Come on, please!

“Why’s your little can opener being so obnoxious?”  Zander leans in, frowning at me.

I glare back at him and growl, not appreciating his input.

Apparently, Nick doesn’t appreciate it either.  He gives Zander a withering glare, prompting Zander to raise his hands in surrender.  “He’s just trying to get my attention, Zan.  He needs me for something.”  Ignoring the eyeroll from Zander that I see all too clearly, Nick gets up from his chair and follows me away from the crowd.  “What is it, Newt?”

I point my gripper up at where Wyvern is, thankfully, still sitting.  Wyvern’s gaze is pointedly averted, but he’s not hiding his melancholy.  Thrrt peeppeep.  Please help him.

Nick looks up and frowns.  Then he scoops me out of the air, gives me a hug, and sets me on his shoulder.  “You’re a good friend, Newt.  Thank you for coming to get me.  Let’s go cheer him up, all right?”

Peeppeep!  Ten-four!

Nick and I head up the stairs and Nick kneels in front of Wyvern.  “Tell me, handsome,” Nick says, lifting Wyvern’s chin with his finger.  “Is this going to be a chronic problem?”

Wyvern shakes his head.  “I always get depressed at the holidays.  Because I never have anyone to spend them with.  You don’t have to do this, sweetie.  I’m just feeling sorry for myself.  I’ll get over it.”

Nick rests his arms across Wyvern’s knees and smiles up at him.  Wyvern’s mechanical wings curl around us, enclosing us in a little cocoon of privacy.  Wyvern sifts his fingers though Nick’s perpetually-disheveled light brown hair and the corner of his mouth lifts in a small, sad smile.  It’s in moments like this one when I see the raw truth of the feelings between them.  Wyvern is absolutely in love with Nick.  And, while the sentiment isn’t exactly as strong, Nick cares very deeply for Wyvern too.  Nick wants nothing more than for Wyvern to be happy, and he’ll do almost anything to make it happen.

“I thought that we resolved this at Christmastime,” Nick says.  “For this holiday season, you’re mine, Wyvern.”

Wyvern frowns down at him.  “Is that allowed?”

Nick lifts an eyebrow and gives Wyvern a look.  “I’ve been an adult for some time now.  I can do what I want.”

The pensive pout on Wyvern’s face makes me giggle softly, and Nick gives me a sidelong smirk.  He probably thinks that I laughed in response to what he said, and that’s fine with me.

“It’s almost midnight and I don’t have anyone to...”

Nick laughs.  “I’ll kiss you, Wyvern.”

Wyvern’s gaze flickers down, and I think I know where it’s aimed.  “But Zander...”

“...Will just have to deal with it,” Nick says.  “Besides, midnight lasts for an entire sixty seconds.  That’s more than enough time to give two men a kiss.”  Wyvern still looks uncertain, and Nick strokes his thumb over Wyvern’s smooth cheek.  “Look...  Zander knows how I feel about him.  He knows where my loyalty is.  If he wants to get jealous over the affection that I have for you, then that’s his problem.  I’m not going to ignore you just to appease him.  He has to have enough confidence to know that I won’t betray him without me having to reaffirm it every five minutes.”  He gives Wyvern a warm, radiant smile.  “And you have to understand that I’m your friend.  I always will be.  I’m here for you.  I want you to be happy.”

Wyvern heaves a sigh.  “I should just call it a night and stop subjecting everyone to my mood.”

Nick shakes his head.  “No way.  Silas gave you the night off so you could celebrate with your friends.  Come on.”

“Nick, I’m terrible company right now.  Go have fun without me.”

“No.  I won’t let you hide yourself away.  Come have a drink.”

“Nick...”

“Just with me.  Please?”

Chrrr.  Beep ding peeppeep! I urge, in agreement with Nick.  Yeah.  Come on, Wyvern.

“See?”  Nick points a finger at me.  “Newt wants you to come too.  How can you possibly resist an endorsement like that?  Or that adorable face?”

Wyvern smiles, and this time, it’s very nearly a happy one.  “That face...”  He cups Nick’s cheek, and his gaze is all for Nick.  “No.  That face is impossible to resist.”

I have to look away.  The emotion is so intense that it feels like I’m intruding upon their private moment.  I start my propellers, preparing to take off and give them some space, but Nick stands up and extends his hand to Wyvern.  Wyvern takes it with a smile and allows Nick to lead him back downstairs.  I let my props slow to a stop and just stay perched on Nick’s shoulder.

There aren’t any open tables, so Nick brings them over to the edge of the group that he’d left a few minutes ago.  Zander lifts his eyebrows and motions to a couple of empty chairs by him, but Nick just smiles and shakes his head.  I hang on to Nick’s shirt as he goes to Zander for a moment.

“Well done, Nicky,” Zander says.

“It was Newt.”  Nick brushes a finger over the curve of my head.  “He didn’t want to see one of his friends get left out.  I’m going to sit with Wyvern for a while.”

Zander nods and gives Nick a kiss and a smile.  Then he reaches down, lifting his guitar from beside his chair, and plucks out some soft melodies.  “Excellent to have you with us, Wyvern,” he calls over the heads of the group, shooting a warm smile at his friend.  “It’s not a party without you.”  He catches the sleeve of a passing server.  “Hey.  Wyvern needs some cider, please.”  The server nods and hurries away to fetch a drink for Wyvern.

“Thanks, Zan.”  Wyvern smiles at him.

With a wink and a grin, Zander turns his attention to his guitar and starts playing an old Christmas carol.  Nick hands me down from his shoulder to the small table in front of him and Wyvern.  Then he leans into Wyvern and wraps his arms around Wyvern’s waist, snuggling into his friend’s broad shoulder with a happy sigh and a smile.  Wyvern’s content expression matches Nick’s, and he hugs Nick close, resting his cheek atop Nick’s head and closing his eyes for a moment.

I stare at the two of them for a minute, confused.  Despite my desire for them to be together, and as delighted as I am to see them nestled so happily against each other, I know that Nick is wholly devoted to Zander.  The fact that they’re being so snuggly right in front of Zander baffles me.  I turn around and consider Zander, looking for any sign of jealousy or irritation.  He only continues to play Christmas music, glancing up at Nick and Wyvern from time to time with a fond smile lifting the corners of his lips.  Turning back to Nick and Wyvern, I find Wyvern smiling at me.

“Little Newtling looks a mite confused,” he says to Nick.

Nick grins at me too.  “What is it, buddy?”

I look back at Zander.  Peepepeep?  What about him?

“Like I said, he has nothing to worry about.”  Nick’s gaze lifts to meet Zander’s and they share an affectionate smile.

Then Zander begins to sing.  A few other voices in the group join in on the familiar carols, but they do so softly, letting Zander’s clear, precise melody predominate.  Wyvern sighs happily.  “It’s been far too long since I’ve heard him sing.  So beautiful...”

“You were right,” Nick says.  “Zander’s voice is one of the nicest I’ve ever heard.”

Wyvern rolls his eyes.  “Of course I was right.  I’m always right.”

Nick laughs and gives Wyvern a playful punch in the shoulder.

“Hey, everyone!” Silas, the tavern owner, calls out to the room.  “Time for the countdown to midnight!  Fireworks will be at twelve thirty!”

Fireworks?  I glance over at Nick and see the same overjoyed excitement in his eyes that I feel inside me.  Neither of us has ever seen real, live fireworks before.  We’ve experienced so much in Firebend that a dome city just can’t offer.  And we’re both endlessly fascinated by all of it.

I dart up into the air, my eyes wide and staring at Nick’s.  Peeppeeppeep!  Dingding!  Fireworks, Nick!  Real ones!

Nick grins widely, his brown eyes sparkling.  “I know!”  He smiles at Wyvern’s raised eyebrow.  “He’s excited about the fireworks.  He’s never seen them before.”

Wyvern clasps Nick’s fingers in his own and strokes his thumb over Nick’s knuckles.  “You’re excited too.  I can tell.”

The countdown begins in the background as I watch Nick duck his head and blush.  He’s so adorable when he does that.  The men attracted to him always seem to think the same thing, as evidenced by the rapidly shrinking open space between Nick and Wyvern as the seconds tick away.

The time evaporates in a rowdy explosion of cheers and noise throughout the tavern as the crowd welcomes the new year.  My attention is fixed on Nick and Wyvern, just as their focus is locked on each other.  Wyvern caresses his fingers and palm over Nick’s cheek, and Nick leans into the touch with a smile.

Finally, Wyvern draws Nick’s mouth up until their lips are just barely touching.  “Happy New Year, beautiful, kind Nick.”

Nick’s eyes close and he smiles.  “Happy New Year, Wyvern,” he whispers against Wyvern’s lips.

A soft, contented purring sound rumbles inside me as I watch them kiss.  It’s gentle and tender and the perfect symbolic gesture of all of the depth and affection present in their complex relationship.  It makes me so happy to see them so happy.

The presence of another body nearby makes me look up.  Zander smiles down at me.  “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

I quickly look away.  If I had the ability to blush, I certainly would have done so.  It seems somehow wrong to so voyeuristically spy on Nick and Wyvern’s private moment.  Especially with Nick’s partner watching too.

Risking a guilty glance up at Zander, I tilt my head, my aluminum brows coming down in a frown.  Zander looks thoughtful, unconcerned, even patient.  It’s not a state in which I see him very often, and in this instance, it has me puzzled.  He really does seem fine with Nick and Wyvern’s relationship.  But that’s counter to everything that I’ve learned about human emotion thus far.  Humans, as a whole, in general, are selfish, territorial, and risk averse.  But here I am, witnessing one such human who is completely bucking those expectations.  Just to make two people happy.  It doesn’t make sense to me.  Apparently, I still have much to learn about humans.

“Mmm...”  Nick pulls away from Wyvern, his lips swollen and his cheeks flushed.

Wyvern aims a cheeky smirk up at Zander and says to Nick, “Are you very sure that I can’t tempt you away from this handsome devil?  I could give you more of those kisses than you could ever want.”

Zander props his hands on his hips.  “Should I be worried?”

Nick grins and stands up in front of Zander.  He shakes his head.  “Never.”  Then he turns back to Wyvern.  “Sorry.  But I’m his.  Which reminds me...  I owe you one of these as well.”  He pulls Zander into his arms, dips his head, and captures Zander’s lips with his own.

Leaning up—as he’s a few inches shorter than Nick—Zander kisses Nick back.  I see the difference right away.  There was definitely plenty of affection in Nick and Wyvern’s kiss.  But Nick and Zander’s kiss is filled with so much more—passion, need, love.  This is why neither Nick nor Zander fear any infidelity.  There is none.  I understand now.

Zander pulls back from Nick and gives him a warm smile.  “I know a fantastic spot to watch the fireworks.  Can I show you?”

“Can Wyvern and Newt come too?”

“Of course!”  Zander turns and pulls Wyvern out of his chair, wrapping an arm around Wyvern’s waist.  Then he motions to me, inviting me up onto his shoulder.  I float up there, making a happy sound.  “I want to share this with my best friends.”

The three men bundle themselves against the cold, and we all head out into the freezing air.  Their warm breath makes little clouds in the tranquil dark, and I try not to shiver too badly.  I suppose that sounds just as silly as the prospect of me having feelings.  I’m not a living being.  I don’t have flesh and blood.  How can I possibly feel cold?  I don’t know.  All I know is that my body is made of metal and metal gets cold quickly.  The cold seeps right through my little body and chills my circuits.  It makes me sluggish and makes me shiver.  I haven’t told Nick about it.

Flying is getting more and more difficult in the frigid air.  I glance longingly at the slight bulge of Wyvern’s wing-warming device beneath his coat.  Perhaps I should ask Nick to make something similar for me too.  Finally, I have to land, and Zander’s shoulder is nearest.  I settle in next to his neck, trying not to shake too badly, though I can’t avoid it entirely.

I feel a shudder rock Zander’s body as I press as closely as I can to his warm skin, burrowing into his collar.  We’ve apparently reached the spot to which he was leading us and, as the men take a seat and huddle together on the dry, rocky ground, Zander cups his hand around me.  “Cripes, Newt.  You’re like a little block of ice against my neck.”

Nick chuckles.  “Well, he is constructed out of metal plates.”

I’m still shivering, and Zander remarks on it.  “He’s cold.”

“Um, you said that already, Zan,” Wyvern says.

“No.”  Zander shakes his head.  “I mean, he feels cold.  He’s shivering.  The cold is affecting him.”

Nick leans forward, tilting his head and frowning at me with concern.  “Are you cold, buddy?”

Ch-ch-ch-chree...  I nod.

Nick’s frown deepens.  “I didn’t even realize.  Newt, I’m sorry.  Why didn’t you tell me?”

Thrrt...  It’s all I can manage at the moment.  I hope that Nick takes it for the noncommittal response that it is.

“To be fair,” Zander says, “this is your first winter.  It’s not like you had to worry about this problem in the dome.”

Nick strokes a fingertip over my head.  “I’m going to fix it, all right?  First thing tomorrow.”

Peep.  I nod again.  Thanks.

“In the meantime, you just stay right there.”  Zander tugs his collar farther away from his neck, giving me more room to snuggle deeper.  I’m warming up now, and I purr softly, nestling in.

“It never even occurred to me...”  Nick’s expression is tortured, and I know that he’s thinking of all of the times that I could have been uncomfortable.  This is why I didn’t tell him.  He worries.  Wyvern squeezes Nick’s shoulder and gives him a reassuring smile.

There’s no time for further discussion on the subject as an explosion of fiery light bursts up in the sky.  A second later, the low boom reaches us.  My eyes widen and I watch, transfixed.  I know how fireworks function.  I’ve seen images of them.  I’m familiar with the concept.  But to experience them lighting up the sky in front of me...  I have no words for it.

Nick is similarly speechless.  I look over and see him, eyes and mouth wide open, struck just as dumb with awe as I am.  Wyvern moves behind him, wrapping arms, legs, and wings around Nick’s body and resting his chin on Nick’s shoulder.  “Amazing, right?”

“Yeah...  I...  Wow...”

Zander inches over to join the hug, and Wyvern welcomes him, stretching his wing around him and squeezing him in tightly against Nick.  As Zander snakes an arm behind Nick, Wyvern curls his arm around Zander’s shoulders.  This puts me in a warm spot in the middle of all three of them, and it’s quite cozy indeed.  I’ve stopped shivering, purring loudly instead.

Nick’s body shakes slightly as he laughs against Zander.  “Don’t get too used to this, bud.  It’s just not practical to permanently maintain this tight group hug.”

Zander leans in, nuzzling his nose against Nick’s and giving him a kiss.  “We could give it a try.  I’m liking it very much myself.”

“Mmm...” Wyvern agrees.  “Though it might be difficult to get any work done while I’m all wrapped up in you boys.”

“Oh, that’s an easy one to solve.  Just stop working,” Zander says.

They all laugh, and I giggle along with them.  I changed my mind.  I like Zander.  I look back out across the open plain in front of us and watch the rainbow of brilliant fireworks glitter like eruptions of stardust in the sky.  It’s going to be a spectacular year.

Copyright © 2015 Leah Ross

All Rights Reserved.